I'm trying to make a concerted effort to blog each night. I'm hoping that this becomes enough of a habit so that I can just write about anything easily. But my problem is with the topic. I have a hard time coming up with something good to talk about. I hate recapping about what happened earlier in the day and I don't like being philosophical too. That pretty much kills about 90% of what people usually talk about so I think I'll just cuss and curse until I can figure out what to say for tonight's topic.
FUCK.
SHIT.
SKANKY, STUPID, SLUTTY BITCH....
damn... it ain't coming...
My mind is a wasteland in the desert of ideas. Nothing is coming in. I have nothing to say, yet I sit in front of this fucking computer hoping that something comes out while mindlessly writing drivel to fill the time away.
FUCK.
SHIT.
SKANKY, STUPID, SLUTTY BITCH....
shit... still nothing... the mindless drivel will continue until I log off. Which is in another 5 minutes because I have to take a mad shit. Ok bye.
I'm just railing at the world....
You know what pisses me off? Rat bastard punks that think they're better than me. Actually, what pisses me off more than that is when I let these turds walk all over me because of my complacent and non-confrontational personality. I've lived by my own credo of "live and let live", which is an irony because I grew up in a family where my parents were the modern-day versions of Haku and Fatu (from WWF wrestling fame), and please don't force me to say which of my parents is which of the wrestlers, that's something to blog about for another day.
I've never really gotten into a fight in my life. The one time that I actually stood up for myself, I was picked on by this deaf-mute punk in 7th grade. Deaf AND mute. Not just deaf, not just mute, but deaf AND mute. It's like getting harrassed by Stephen Hawking and he's drunk off a bottle of cognac and turpentine. And yes, I am going to hell for daring to write down that last sentence; but that's ok, I've already reconciled with the thought of being Satan's choirboy. Suffice it to say, this dude was harrassing me in the lunch line and I just lost it. And when I say that "I lost it", I'm talking about the feeling you get when the school bully gets your lunch money, socks you in the nuts for taking your sweet-ass time in giving it to him, and chases you around the jungle gym while you're screaming like a little girl that just peed in your panties. Then after you've embarrassed yourself a ton, that little nagging voice in your head called COURAGE (fucking Courage!!!) tells you to stand up for yourself, save the rest of your dignity and swing at his ass!!! But when you do swing, you're juuuuuust a tad step slower and your world just goes down the drain like shit in a toilet.
Well, I swung at him, and I missed him. But i did hit this girl right in the middle of her back, while crying like a stuck pig to add to my melancholy drama. Oh yes, I was the envy of all men at that point. Women wanted me and men wanted to be me.
I just wanted to die......