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| Jojo's Adventures |
| My life as I see it... |
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Thursday, May 20, 2004
perpectives
Harold sent this to me awhile back:
Next time you're mad, think of this: You're a siamese twin and you and your brother are attached at the shoulders. Your brother has a date and he is gay. And you only have one ass.
Insult o' the day
I actually have two:
1) I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperms, you were the quickest!! - Steven Pearl 2) He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner... - Johnny Carson on Chevy Chase nuff said...
Fact o' the day
Oh my God!!!
A 13-pound baby boy the size of a 3-month old was just born this week in Mexico. Doctors said babies of this size, who come into the world by Caesarian section (thank god!!!), are quite rare and only occurs in 1 out of every 40,000 births. Maybe I shouldn't show this to Dao....
William Hung can kiss my ass....
Speaking of Reality TV, does everybody here agree that William Hung has whipped, flogged, and thrashed his 15 minutes of fame to infernal history? I'm pretty sure he's "Rodney Kinged" it to death. Anyway, this guy should've been done WAY before he started. I'll admit that I initially admired the fact he tried out for the show, knowing (hopefully) that a gazillion people worldwide would be watching and mocking his moronic ass. I'll also admit to admiring him for not allowing a little thing called talent to dissuade him from chasing his dreams, but come on now!!!! A record deal?!?! Guest show appearances?!?!?! Halftime performances at NBA playoff venues?!?! Goodness gracious that's embarassing. How often can someone endure him singing "She Bangs" over and over and over?!?! And why the hell does it have to be that damn song?!?! It's like listening to a really bad karaoke live, in person, and in every waking moment you have while you are strapped down to a chair with ants crawling in your pants. It's bad enough that the powers that be are EXPLOITING him like a pimp slapping his ho, but does he have to go along with it willingly? I mean hell, we might as well give him knee pads and just tell him to say AHHHH.
And you know who I blame for all of this? The frickin' MTV generation!! The same generation that allowed people like Ashton Kutcher, Tom Green, and shows like Jackass and Viva La Bam to be as successful as they are right now. What happened to quality TV? Why are they showing senseless drivel like that instead of something more intellectually challenging, or at the least, invigorating. Lately, I've stopped myself from watching MTV and similar stations. I've actually been glued more to the History Channel and their ongoing coverage of World War II. Now, this is quality programming!! I really think we need to control the mass o' crap that reality TV has come to be, otherwise our generation will be raising a whole new generation of Tom Greens and Ashton Kutchers... damn you William..... Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Joke o' the day - thanks to Harold A.
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over the side and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted
Uninspired....
It seems that I've fallen into the same mundane trap that my buddy Anny fell out of just recently. I don't know what's going on with me, but I haven't had the inspiration to do anything. My performance at work has been dismal at best and I don't even have the heart to mess around with my blog. Usually, I would write a blurb or two in here just so I can say I updated it for that day. But for the past 5 or 6 days, I haven't had the inspiration, imagination, nor drive to do even that. So what's going on? What's been bugging me? What's been gnawing at my head that I can't function as I normally do? After typing down the last question, I just realized that this might have alot more to do with SDSU.
Last week, I had a job interview with them that kicked major ass. I don't want to sound cocky and arrogant, but I really did think I nailed it. But because of circumstances that I don't what to expound on at this moment, that's the one thing that's been on my mind since the day of the interview. I can't sleep, I can't think straight, I can't work nor can I even write up my thoughts in my blog. Seeing that my unknown future is foremost in my head, not knowing whether I got the job is adding to my stress. And because of that, I have to apologize to Ann. I haven't been myself this past week. I'm not the jovial, crass, and ruly Jojo that she has come to know and love in the internet world. Tomorrow, when I get to work, I will be myself again. Or I'll die trying. Just kidding, it's not that dramatic. I'm just going to make a concious effort to do my job and be the rude, crude dude that I once was. Anyway, it's almost 1 in the morning and I am hella tired. I'll blog y'all later!! Friday, May 07, 2004
My Friend - Crystal Lewis
thank you
for being my friend for being the one on whom i depend we've been a team come rain or shine come win or lose what's yours has been mine i love you my friend for giving to me for being my confidant for letting me be me for sharing your heart for taking a stand i want to be like you i love you - my friend i'll never forget the secrets we kept the stories we told the nights we never slept the tears that we cried the heartaches we shared somehow gave me hope when it seemed no one cared there've been times i felt my life was coming to an end you stood by me, my friend i thank God for sending someone like you to me i'm glad we've got eachother the years will pass and times will change but one thing will always stay the same - we'll always be friends -- dedicated to my online friend who will always be loved by the many people that has come to know her for who she is...
funny story of the day....
INTERNATIONALISM IN PRACTICE
An American soldier in a hospital explained how he was wounded: He said, "I was told that the way to tell a hostile Vietnamese from a friendly Vietnamese was to shout 'To hell with Ho Chi Minh!' If he shoots, he's unfriendly. So I saw this dude and yelled 'To hell with Ho Chi Minh!' and he yelled back, 'To hell with President Johnson!' We were shaking hands when a truck hit us." (from 1,001 Ways to Beat the Draft, by Tuli Kupferburg). Thursday, May 06, 2004
An Anny -inspired anecdote....
Life is like a box of chocolates... just kidding...
here it is: Life is all about experiences. It's what happens to you in the past that teaches you how to move on in the present in order to prepare for the future. deep.... real deep....
Luis is ok!!!
Luis went to the doctor today to get an x-ray on his dislocated finger. Apparently, someone named Donny dislocated it for him as a favor while we were scrimmaging last Monday. But he said it's ok, no fractures or anything like that so the Nadds will still have it's starting guard. Whooo hooo!!!!
You might be a redneck Jedi if....
1) You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2) Your Jedi robe is camouflage. 3) You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. 4) At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. 5) You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. 6) You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. 7) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. 8) Wookies are offended by your B.O. 9) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 10) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 11) Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot." 12) You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. 13) You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. 14) You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. 15) You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. 16) Although you'da had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 17) You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. 18) You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck. and last but not the least.... You might be a redneck Jedi if you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle."
Darwin would've been proud...
Holy Crap!!! Check this link out and read the article.
A construction worker had 6 3-inch nails embedded into his neck, head and face when he fell of a roof in a construction site, hit a co-worker on his way down and was inadvertently hit by a nailgun that shot him with the 6 nails. A few of the nails penetrated his brain which has slurred and slowed his speech a little, but other than that, doctors expect him to recover fully. Damn man!!! I should go with him when he buys his next lottery ticket since he's so frickin' lucky!! Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Da Nadds 27, Terror Squad 35
Man. We lost the first game. But it's all good. I think it helped us identify our weak spots. Namely, offense and defense. if it weren't for Trung and Pat, the game wouldn't even be that close. But like I said, it's still all good. I still had fun and I'm looking forward to our next competition. Hopefully we can be better than before. We just gotta stick to our assignments and play crazy!! Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Bern's pre-blog days
check out Bern's old Xanga account!!! Monday, May 03, 2004
Disclaimer:
Recently, I have come across some gossip where certain people (I won't mention names, but they are Mike Kim and Tony Cho) have the distinct impression that I get sloshed up during lunchtime in the middle of a work day. I think in their estimation, I am a closet alcoholic. Anyway, to clear things up, I do NOT drink all the time; just every other day. I only have 1 glass (or 5, depending on how shitty the day is) and I don't stumble back to work all red, slurry, and smelling as if I kissed a drunk bum on the streets. Those day are past me now, since I haven't kissed a bum in years!
Fact 'o the day
A few weeks ago, the nonprofit Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, which provides testing for sexually transmitted diseases along with drug and psychological counseling for porn actors, determined that actors Darren James and Lara Roxx were infected with the AIDS virus. The discovery led to the voluntary quarantine of 53 people and prompted an estimated 80 percent of the porn industry to halt production until further testing gives the all-clear.
Please join Martin, myself, and a million other heterosexuals who have seen a porno or 10 in mourning one of the saddest days in recent history. I weep inside like a little girl. *sniff*
Congratulations Ray!!!
I just want to give a shout out for my buddy, Ray Warriner. Yesterday, his quest for a decent domicile ended when he officially got the keys to the house he bought. His palatial abode is located in the rustic hills of Monterey Park, overlooking the peons beneath him.... hehehe... just kidding..
Anyway, a big hearty congratulations to Ray and his thirty-year fixed mortgage with low points!!
Let's ball it up!!!
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine approached me about starting up a basketball team and joining a league. Obviously I was gung-ho about it so I said yes and we started looking for people to add to the team. But Calvine, my buddy, requested we get people who are looking to have more fun instead of those that are too competitive. And I totally understand where he's coming from. This team we're putting together will not compete against NBA caliber teams so why go after someone ultra-competitive when our main goal is to just hang out, have fun, and get our exercise on.
So no we have 10 people of average talent grouped together as a team. God pray for our souls. Our first game in this 10-game season is going to be tomorrow at 9pm. I know it's a bit late, but since we joined the league late, we got screwed over and ended up with this time slot. I guess this shows how crazy I am about basketball. I frickin' hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass!! Dammit!! Anyway, I digress. As you all should frickin' know, Basketball is one of the best ways to get a good exercise. You get to run, sprint, jog, crawl your ass up and down the court, and you also get to learn the fundamentals of teamwork, which is good in any social situation you may get yourself involved in. Who knows when one of your single friends will need a good wingman so it might be a good idea to count on someone you've been to battle with, albeit in a basketball court. In addition to being a good way to train a wingman, basketball teaches you hand-eye coordination so simple tasks like putting on your contacts will not necessitate a visit to the emergency room. And what girl would date a dumbass who can't walk straight, let alone see straight. And hanging out after games is fun too considering you get to go out to consume a sufficient amount of provisions (meat), drink a sextet of ale (beer), and ogle at the local talent (boobies). It's a good way to end the night, just remember to shower before you try to get the digits.
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name: Jojo
age: 32 my wife: DAO THAI-CUARTO blood type: B+ fave pasttime: burning movies |
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